I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
