is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i will never coherently bang her
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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