He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
