these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
