Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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