I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize