sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
