Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
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You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
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His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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