I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
