just come out here and I will go home with you...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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