She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
