I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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