i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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