I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
