I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize