The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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