i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Hippo gnu deer
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
