we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
