let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
