I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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