guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
