she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
smell my finger.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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