im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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