I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
