I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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