watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's never too late to be topless.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
