You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
