Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
