we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
