It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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