Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
