Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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