i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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