Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
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