Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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