the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
