I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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