Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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