Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I would ride that face into the sunset
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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