im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
