Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
