Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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