sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i need some magic done to my vagina
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
