Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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