I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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