There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
