phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't want my vagina anymore.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
