Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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