i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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