i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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