So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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