i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
