fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
