Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
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My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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