I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
