with your own penis?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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