So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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