Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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