Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
