Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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