i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
