This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
