My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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