he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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