we're blogging at a bar
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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