just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
