It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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