he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
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I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
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had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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